Greta Thunberg Takes Aim At Goku And Friends: “Stop Destroying Planets”

Greta Thunberg has captured the entire globe’s attention, telling world leaders around the Americas and Europe but definitely not China to straighten up their act and finally take some decisive action against climate change. The kid prodigy has bravely done what no one else had the balls to do, and now she’s set her sights on an even greater goal.

“Earth is only the beginning, we should be protecting every planet in the universe. How many times are we going to blow up Planet Namek? We cannot rely on the Dragon Balls forever, they can’t fix everything. They have limits.” said Thunberg, in a stunning call-out of Earth’s so-called “heroes”.

According to NASA findings, Earth will be a barren husk of rock and dust if Goku and/or Vegeta get into one more fight, with each other or some other monstrosity. They are solely responsible for destroying more mountains, forests, and land masses than any country, and have left more smoldering craters in Earth and many other planets than a meteor shower.

The findings only get worse when you factor in that it was uncovered in the recent FBI probe that Goku has ties with Frieza, former self-instated universal fascist emperor. Frieza has destroyed multiple planets on his own, and Goku was apparently well aware of this fact before teaming up with and aligning himself with fascism.

“The planet can’t take anymore of these fights. If we allow the toxic masculinity and culture of war that these white men perpetuate, there won’t be any home for my generation and the ones after us.” Thunberg said in a United Nations climate change conference.

Goku has yet to respond, but the UN has voted unanimously to bar Goku from fighting ever again, and has appointed the much less destructive Yamcha to be Earth’s defender.

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