They'll go through every fetish in the book before they allow themselves to become irrelevant.
Published August 22nd 2017
Fans of Nintendo's popular new fighting game, Overwatch, got some good news today.
Fans of inflation porn also got something to celebrate too. And clown porn. That's right, Nintendo unveiled a brand new character. And this one is gonna go over really, really well with the internet.
Joining the cast of diverse cartoon wives, French inflation porn clown Widowmaker will bring classic French weaponry like nunchucks and stamps to battle.
She will be giving sexy Asian noodle girl Mei and cute mech expert D.Va a run for their money, with her winning smile and charming personality. And her inflatable body parts.
Nintendo revealed her, along with some new maps and weapons for Splatoon 2, ahead of their Gamescom event. You'll now be able to blow bubbles on a pirate ship in Splatoon, something people have requested since the game's launch.
Their announcements were wrapped up with a little tidbit on the SNES Classic.
Miyamoto came up on stage toting two of them under his arms, put his lips to the mic and said "Good luck getting one, cuck", before booking it for the fire escape.
No one ever found him, and he refuses to answer his phone. It goes without saying that it'll probably be impossible to find the SNES consoles too.
You'll be able to catch up on all of Nintendo's Gamescom stuff here.
Or, for the intellectuals, you can stay tuned to Lord Waffle King Dot Com, where we will cover all of the important stuff.