Lord Waffle King Dot Com

Square Enix Bringing Back Obscure, Cult Classic RPG

I don't understand, it doesn't even feature Tim Allen, what's the big deal?

Lord Waffle King, published August 26th 2017

Square Enix has developed some of the greatest RPG games of all time, and have a massive catalog that they could easily be remastering for the newer generation of consoles.

I mean, that's all anyone ever does for them, remaster and port things. That's what the PS4 and Xbox One are all about. Playing all of your old games, but newer. And you have to pay for them again.

Square is definitely aware of this, obviously. They've remastered like, a million Final Fantasy games already. But the latest game they've set their sights on remastering is one probably no one has ever heard of before.

It's Sword Season here at Menards!

Secret of Menards was an incredibly obscure SNES RPG game, which originally only launched in 14 states. Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Nebraska, Kansas, South Dakota, North Dakota, Wyoming, and Kentucky.

Menards is a midwestern home improvement chain, which partnered with Square in order to promote their business in the 90's. The game features plucky anime protagonists, lost inside a Menards store, and tasks you with finding the secrets of the store in order to unlock the great savings hidden within.

Of all the IP that Square owns, all the games they've developed, why the fuck did they decide to remaster this?

I've got no fucking clue, dude. This is some weird shit. I guess Menards must be paying up the big dollars to get this remastered, man.

It's not clear yet if Secret of Menards will be launching internationally or only in the Midwest again. I mean I doubt anyone knows what the fuck a Menards is, though the store chain has become incredibly popular in Japan recently.

They don't actually have any stores in Japan, there's just a Menards-themed café and shit. There's been talk of an official Menards anime, but nothing substantial has come from those rumors yet.

Help grab onto these BIG savings!

There was a demand for this. People bought enough copies of the original for this to be made. You asked for this, with your money.

There's gonna be fully remastered graphics and music, and improved gameplay. It's going to be fully reworked for the new generation of consoles.

Secret of Menards is coming to PS4, Vita, and PC, and is currently slated to release for the North American market on February 15th, 2018.