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"Visceral Games" Shuttered As EA Kills Promising "Uncharted-Like" Star Wars Title

New studio and new direction for the Star Wars game promises to "resonate with players".

Bad news for Star Wars fans. Just as soon as Star Wars fever was sweeping the nation, with new movies and a promising video game deal, it seems the dream isn't long for this world. There's been a disturbance in the force, and it starts with a capital E and ends with a capital A.

That's EA, or "Electronic Arts", the infamous game publisher hated more than both Jar Jar Binks and the international Jewish Illuminati conspiracy aiming to destroy us all. Combined.

While they promised a lot of big things out of their exclusive deal with the Star Wars franchise, it seems one of their big games has already been more or less canned.

Visceral, the people behind fantastic games like the Dead Space series, is dead. The promising "Uncharted-like" Star Wars adventure RPG they were working on, dead. The husk has been taken, re-purposed, and will be made into something else Star Wars. Something that will fit into their new "video games as a service" mantra.

Games like Destiny or Overwatch, games that bring in a steady stream of money, are all the rage right now; where the fun can be immediately shut off should the developers want you to move onto the next big thing, like in the case of Destiny 2. None of your stuff carries over, all of those loot boxes you bought are now worthless. But here's some more loot boxes for you. Don't forget to buy the season pass.

That's right. Single player is out. Online-only multiplayer is in. And they've got a great new game that'll be right up your alley, if you've got a deep enough wallet for it.

Doot doot doot doot doodoodoot

Before the project was canned, Visceral had managed to perfectly capture the musty atmosphere of the classic Star Wars Cantina. EA, unhappy with needing to wait until 2019 to get some return on their investment, decided that this was enough for the game to ship. Just the Cantina. The game is now slated to launch in 2018, and the rest of the development cycle will be focused on preparing DLC and additional content to be distributed through loot boxes.

You might be wondering how the hell they could ship an adventure RPG with only a Cantina, but that's the catch. It isn't an adventure game anymore. It's now an online-only Cantina player simulator RPG. You'll be the Cantina band, playing gigs, gambling on pod races, paying for lap dances from those blue alien strippers. A regular space rockstar.

EA is looking to bring back the music game craze of yesteryear, but now with high-octane online multiplayer, and an emphasis on player vs. player.

Are you ready to rock or whatever

The new IP will see players starting their own cantina bands and vying for the attention of dazed cantina patrons. When fights break out, it's important that you stop playing until it's done, and then immediately start playing again, otherwise you may find yourself on the business end of a blaster. Once you've found fame enough to rival Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes themselves, you'll have to compete with players online to rock the leaderboard. Or something.

New cantinas, band members, and instruments will be available to be purchased with premium currency in the Cantina Loot Box shop. Or, if you'd rather get yourself some alien ass, premium currency can be used to get yourself some groupies from the Hutts. If they don't cheer loud enough for you, you can always feed them to the Sarlacc for an XP boost.

It's still a working title, as EA currently does not know what the instruments were called that the band actually plays. George Lucas has been questioned on the matter, but he hasn't decided yet.

"Cantina Hero" is dated for Holiday 2018 and will be launching with the full band kit for $200. DLC songs can be purchased through individual expansion packs for $29.99 each for four songs, or in the monthly $49.99 Cantina VIP membership, which will get you unlimited access to all upcoming tracks.