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Donald Trump Starts GoFundMe For Border Wall After Spending Government Funds On Fortnite "V-Bucks"

Trump under investigation after spending American tax dollars in the popular online video game "Fortnite"

Lord Waffle King, published December 19th 2018

The state of American politics has been a joke for quite some time now, and yet with each passing day the distinction between reality and fantasy slips just a little more. Parody and satire bits are becoming actual news stories, and fact is becoming more ridiculous than fiction. It really shouldn't surprise us anymore when there's a major political scandal. And yet here we are, once again.

A GoFundMe has been making the rounds on the internet, claiming to be a "by the people" movement to get Trump's border wall funded. With the threat of a government shutdown constantly looming, Trump has had to make a few compromises on what he built his entire campaign on. Keeping illegal immigrants out with a big, meaty wall. As funds are mysteriously drying up, Trump's supporters have stepped in to cover the costs.

And yet things aren't exactly what they seem.

MAGA

The campaign, having blown up so suddenly, has been under intense scrutiny. Who is this guy, where is this money going? Will it actually be put towards the wall? Or is it just some guy trying to cash in and scam a bunch of people? It's actually a little of both.

According to sources close to Trump, the president has taken up a new hobby in addition to golf. A hobby that's proven to be slightly more expensive. Trump, who is 72 years old, is understandably wary of modern tech. He's preferred to use his phone, and sometimes his iPad, which he refers to as "the flat one" according to tweets from mid-2018. He's always been very reluctant to using any of the White House computers or laptops.

But when one of his caretakers allowed him to download games onto "the flat one", Trump discovered the video game sensation "Fortnite". That's where things get messy.

Within weeks of Trump becoming hooked on the game, government funds began to get inexplicably sucked up. Little by little, money wasn't where it should be. It wasn't until later investigations that anyone discovered where that money was being spent. Trump had been spending hundreds of dollars on the game's "V-Bucks", which are a form of in-game currency. Several other major purchases were made, including one for a gaming PC, and a new headset.

While White House staff attempted to cover up the mess, the problem of the missing government funds was still something they couldn't just ignore. And that's when the idea for the GoFundMe came up. Witnesses say it was Barron Trump's idea, but we have no official confirmation. Regardless, a fake persona and account were made by government officials in order to raise the money Donald had inadvertently spent.

Very cool

You'd think the story would end there, but Trump is still vehemently denying that he's ever played Fortnite, despite photographic evidence and tweets in which he explicitly mentions playing Fortnite.

Critics of the president have been calling for him to be impeached over this, and yet he continues to deny it, even going so far as to accusing them of being racist against "gamers". Which, if he refers to himself as a gamer, would imply he is playing Fortnite? Trump has also gone on record saying "buying V-bucks is not illegal". Though I'm pretty sure misusing government funds is?

I don't know. I just don't know anymore.