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There's Something in The Water and It Ain't Adderall


Whoa-hoa-hoa, look out, this fish has fricking laser cannons and the cake is a lie, there are cats in the ocean and it's rAnDoM dAnCiNg tImE!

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Mighty Chromosome No. 21 is Back, and His Caretaker is Very Sorry For Causing You Any Trouble


Don't worry, this one won't make you cry on prom night. He's never gonna run around and desert you again.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Your Children Are Being Indoctrinated Into A Satanic Gore Rape Cult


Take your kids to church now, before they're masturbating over YOUR dismembered chest.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Is This A Sweet Dream or a Beautiful Nightmare?


Either way I don't wanna wake up anymore. Let me rest in peace, forever.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

What God And Man Truly Fear Beyond Death


If God cannot die, why does He fear what He has made?

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

DC Could Really Learn A Few Things From The Writers At DreamWorks


Now I'm not saying Shrek could beat Superman in a fight, I'm sure all the pissy Superman fanboys would hop to his defense like the insecure little pussies they are. I'm just saying, Shrek is much more intellectual.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

It's Good Shit, Don't Even Bother Reading This


Unless this is the alternate dimension where everything is the same except Super Mario Odyssey sucked ass, under what circumstances would you assume there was even a chance this game would suck ass?

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Only Real 2010's Kids Will Remember This Game


The only franchise in history to have a movie adaptation in the works at the height of its popularity, developed after its lost all relevancy, and launched just in time to be a reboot.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

White People Are Appropriating The Middle Ages Now Too


That's funny, last time I checked they didn't eat ice with ranch dressing in medieval times.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

I Fucking Hate Snoopy


That stupid fucking piece of shit dog needs to be shot.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Finally I Can Collect Enough Anime Girls To Sate The Crippling Loneliness In My Soul


And it only cost me $74.99 of real world currency, what a steal. Thanks, Nintendo.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

If Everything On XVIDEOS Was This Eloquent We'd Have Colonies On Mars By Now


>tfw your hentai video game has a higher understanding of theoretical quantum physics than you.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Hey Kid, Ya Wanna Buy Some Space Wizards?


Come on, just one space wizard. It'll only cost you one measly long-term investment of time and money, haha.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Sonic Games Without Furry Porn Are Actually Pretty Good


Who would've thought, that was all it took just to make a good Sonic game?

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

14 Years Is Probably Legal If They Have Tentacles


Look, I don't make the rules here, this is just how the laws work in Japan.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Fisting Black Chicks Is The New eSport


Nintendo's latest foray into competitive fighting games is a gaping success, but can they hold it all in, or will the pros lapse into irrelevancy?

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Stop Holding My Hand And Let Me Masturbate Already


Whatever happened to just catching a fucking Pokemon and jerking off to it?

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

God Isn't Real Haha Life Is Meaningless Burp


Why is my dad the main character of this video game?

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Eating, Being Useless, And Dying Has Never Been So Fun


I've never identified with a game so much.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Who the Fuck Names Their Kid "Duck" Or "Geese", What The Fuck Kind Of Name Is That?


Just because fat girls get random Japan things tattooed on their ass doesn't mean you can name your kid random English words.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Nan Takes A Tumble 2: Tumblegeddon


When tumbling just ain't enough anymore.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

The Russians Are Using Anime To Control Our Minds


Don't let the cheery appearance fool you, it has ties to Russia.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Is It Physically Possible To Eat Metal Peach's Ass?


Her body doesn't seem soft or warm to the touch. Would her holes be stiff and unmoving? Is penetration even an option?

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

The Number One Reason To Come To Brazil


Right next to the riots that come after the game.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Oh Yeah Well I Was Only Pretending To Be Retarded


It's self-aware, relax. You can't go to jail if you did it while self-aware.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

It's Not Genocide If You Make Soup Out Of Them


Like when smallpox wiped out the Native Americans, only with soup.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Eat My Ass, Retro Circlejerking Fuckwads


Learn to play real-ass games, this ain't 1982 anymore.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Pokemon Minus The Fuckable, Vaguely Humanoid Monsters


Implying people actually cared about anything besides having sex with their Pokemon.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Jesus Didn't Die For Me To Waste My Life Playing This Shit


My life isn't going anywhere anyway so why not just spend 100+ hours walking in circles?

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

In The Future, Sheep-Fucking Is Probably Legal


You'd think we'd put an end to inbreeding before the invention of the hover car, but...

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

Fist Me Harder, Daddy


I fucking hate that stupid Swedish fuck.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King

A Very Shiny, Chrome Piece Of Shit


I am really fucking pissed okay, you have no fucking idea how furious I am. Fuck this fucking shit.

Reviews by Lord Waffle King