Tag Archives: pokemon

Nintendo Announces Paid Premium Subscription To Restore All Cut Pokémon From Sword And Shield

When Nintendo first announced Pokémon Sword and Shield, they were met with mixed reactions. A lot of things were changing, and not all of them seemed to be for the better. Less Pokémon, less content, seemingly the same level of graphics we’d grown to expect from a 3DS game, something just wasn’t adding up.

But there’s no longer a need to worry, Game Freak and Nintendo have just dropped some major news. All of the things they fucked up on, it’ll all be fixed as long as you pay for their new monthly premium Pokémon experience.

With the newly announced Pokémon Master Pass, players will be able to capture, train, and battle all 890+ Pokémon in the National Dex, as well as access a number of other features only available to Master Pass owners.

“We realize that many Pokémon fans are unhappy with the current experience. However, please understand that designing and animating over one thousand different models is extremely time-consuming. But with this new paid premium membership, we will be able to afford the coke and prostitutes necessary to keep studio morale up in order to make our vision possible. Please understand” Junichi Masuda, producer of Sword and Shield, told us in an exclusive interview.

While the primary benefit of unlocking the National Dex seems to be the main pull, many other quality of life additions will be made, including offering higher resolution textures, and being taken off of the government watch list for jerking off to cartoon children.

The Master Pass will be released early Spring 2020, just in time to keep you busy until the next game is announced and rushed through production for next year’s holiday season.

The Pokémon Company: Hatsune Miku Will Not Be In Pokémon Sword And Shield

The upcoming installment in the ever-popular Pokémon franchise, Sword and Shield, has been met with mixed reactions. Nintendo has been switching up the formula, and not everyone likes it.

First they took away the National Dex, then they took away Mega Evolutions and replaced it with the new “Gigamax” system. Some people love it, some hate it. As a massively bloated franchise, it’s impossible to please everyone.

But they’ve just come out with yet another announcement. Hatsune Miku will not be featured in this installment of the Pokémon franchise.

Do you see Hatsune Miku in this screenshot? No? That’s because she’s not in this game. They’ve already said so, it’s official. Sword and Shield will feature the largest map of any Pokémon game, and through all of those virtual acres you will never find Hatsune Miku.

At this point, it really feels like they’re just stripping more and more features from this game. It’s beginning to to feel like they’re just going to ship the most bare-bones product imaginable. Pokémon has a problem as a franchise with how massive it’s gotten, but is this really the best way to fix things?

We’ll just have to wait and see if Nintendo feels the pressure or not. The consumers will vote with their wallets. Pokémon Sword and Shield are currently dated for November 15th.