The Democratic Party is back to square one now it seems in their quest to impeach President Donald Trump. There have been talks since 2016 of impeachment, and though they’ve been hard at work for the past few years, there still no results.
The latest plan seemed like it had just reached fruition, as Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton set off to collect the Dragon Balls and have Trump banished for good. But in a disappointing twist, the great dragon Shenron informed us that the Dragon Balls do not have the power to grant that wish.
Shenron has refused to cooperate with the impeachment case, and sources say Shenron himself may have ties to Russia.
An anonymous whistle-blower has leaked that Shenron allegedly granted a wish to Vladimir Putin to have Crimea. Clearly this wish worked, because Crimea was annexed and we all just kinda let that happen. Not even a drone strike.
The Democratic Party is now seeking to have Shenron himself impeached, and they’ve proposed that Bill Clinton take the seat instead.
Greta Thunberg has captured the entire globe’s attention, telling world leaders around the Americas and Europe but definitely not China to straighten up their act and finally take some decisive action against climate change. The kid prodigy has bravely done what no one else had the balls to do, and now she’s set her sights on an even greater goal.
“Earth is only the beginning, we should be protecting every planet in the universe. How many times are we going to blow up Planet Namek? We cannot rely on the Dragon Balls forever, they can’t fix everything. They have limits.” said Thunberg, in a stunning call-out of Earth’s so-called “heroes”.
According to NASA findings, Earth will be a barren husk of rock and dust if Goku and/or Vegeta get into one more fight, with each other or some other monstrosity. They are solely responsible for destroying more mountains, forests, and land masses than any country, and have left more smoldering craters in Earth and many other planets than a meteor shower.
The findings only get worse when you factor in that it was uncovered in the recent FBI probe that Goku has ties with Frieza, former self-instated universal fascist emperor. Frieza has destroyed multiple planets on his own, and Goku was apparently well aware of this fact before teaming up with and aligning himself with fascism.
“The planet can’t take anymore of these fights. If we allow the toxic masculinity and culture of war that these white men perpetuate, there won’t be any home for my generation and the ones after us.” Thunberg said in a United Nations climate change conference.
Goku has yet to respond, but the UN has voted unanimously to bar Goku from fighting ever again, and has appointed the much less destructive Yamcha to be Earth’s defender.
Infamous rapper 6ix9ine has been snitching on everyone since his trial began, naming a number of big names like Cardi B and Trippie Redd as gang members. It seems no one has been safe from his testimony.
The latest bizarre twist? 6ix9ine, full name Daniel Hernandez, has just revealed that the infamous serial killer Kira is in fact ordinary Japanese student Light Yagami, son of the chief of police.
Investigators are going over the evidence now, but the notion seems absurd. An upstanding young student with such a bright future, capable of killing massive swaths of people without ever leaving his house? The resemblance, however, does seem uncanny.
6ix9ine, who was facing over 40 years in prison, may be looking at under a year now thanks to ratting on all of his former associates. The snitching does not seem to have any end in sight, and though the judge has said that Hernandez has named enough people, he just keeps talking.
We will keep this story updated as the trial develops.
The Epstein case
continues to be one of the most monumental and jaw dropping of our time. Who
could have expected for billionaires, politicians, and the media to all be in
cahoots with one another? Who would have guessed they’d abuse their power to
commit vile acts like child sex trafficking?
We were absolutely
blindsided by the fact that the wealthy elite would abuse their power like
that. And yet, somehow it just keeps getting worse.
As private investigators continue to comb through whatever was left of Epstein’s private pedophile island which was tragically purged of almost all evidence accidentally by the feds, the latest report back is absolutely sickening. Epstein was a huge fan of Bakugo X Ochaco.
Records show Epstein sent and solicited Bakugo X Ochaco images and hentai to many high-profile figures and politicians, including Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew. The absolutely degenerate pairing, which makes zero sense in any context, is just the whipped cream on top Epstein’s twisted case.
Investigators on the
case made the official statement “It’s not only a bad ship, it’s a
nonexistent, nonsensical ship. It’s not just bad, it’s stupid. They literally
interact like maybe once or twice, they have zero chemistry. Not even a hint of
romantic tension. You could ship any other two characters and it would make
slightly more sense, because at least then it would be two random characters
instead of two random characters but one is clearly meant to be with a certain
character. The only way it would make a sliver of sense is if this was some
kind of weird netorare hentai thing where Bakugo just rapes Ochaco to spite
Deku, but that’s absolutely degenerate.”
Luckily, the feds
have decided to close the Epstein case, so we can all put this absolute
nightmare behind us already and forget it ever happened.